Insomnia, a rarity for me

Got home from seeing a very violent but well-made movie:
http://imdb.com/title/tt0421238/

...and because of that and a couple other things, I'm not so into sleeping right now. Maybe I'll just stay up til C&J is posted, hah!

I hate that my bottomless need for attention and approval sometimes leads me to actions that are naively inconsiderate of others' feelings. I'm really sorry.

[change of subject] I have met a man who, in a very short time, has become interested in me in a very serious way. Sometimes you meet someone and you instantly feel like you've known them for years, and you can talk for hours about most anything, or not talk at all, and you just feel natural and at ease. That's the way it is with him. Trouble is, he doesn't fit my shallow vision of what I want in a man, physically, in certain ways. Jesus Christ, I should be flogged for that. Anyway... I was just sorta fresh into being ready to date again -- I never expected anything serious this soon. I want to get married, I really do, but at the moment I feel I'm not ready to commit to one person yet. I feel I have to look around a bit more. I also feel I have to spend some more quality time with myself before I become enmeshed with someone else again. I feel like I'm just now, finally, getting to know myself. I don't want to lose that. I lost myself in my last relationship, and that just doesn't work.